February 2, 2013
One day I went away for a long time and I thought there was no turning back. I left my family, my friends my job, my support. I moved my business all the way to rehab. It was like an angel was calling me but didn’t leave a message. So I walked, talked, ate, and just kept going on with my own business. Whatever the business was caused me to become delirious. After causing me to become delirious I found my way in the brinks of hospitals, institutions, jails and death in the midst of my journey. I was broke and I lost all my self-respect. I lost it somewhere between Florida and Pittsburgh. With nothing left, all I really had was my broken soul. I had people who liked me but I couldn’t be their friend. I swore to myself that one day I would get back to those people – so many different people, so many walks of life, attitudes, friends, so-called friends and interesting people. Everywhere I go I manage to find a way to be all right. I swore to myself there would never be a day when I couldn’t spend 10 dollars. When that day came and I was about to check myself into the hospital – there was my friend waiting for me with a bag of bud and some pills. I chose the hospital over my friend. Shortly before, this friend went through a terrible tragedy. He lost someone he loved to drugs. When the death came I found myself on my last drug run. Death after death, I finally moved on and only the strong survive. When they put their guns down, I cried. That’s when I found myself bowing to evil spirits. I didn’t want to leave but somebody came and let me out of the dark hell I was in. Instead of that last bag of crack, I had lunch. I made a lot of new connections but they were dark and devious. Just before I left the angel sent me a message. He said: “Get out of here and don’t ever come back”. My family culture, which was once ruined, came back to life and helped me out of the grips of my hell. I found myself again walking in the street alone but this time I had ten bucks. I saved it for a pack of cigarettes. I walked and walked and walked and one day I just cried. My broken soul began to heal.